The Colonoscopy....What Seemed So Much Like My College Years

Each Sunday morning, I use to meet a group of women for breakfast. Yes, believe it or not, I am actually only 28 and was 27 at that time this part of the story occurred. This group of women and I would just sit, eat breakfast, and shoot the shit…literally! Somehow these, lets call them experienced…or seasoned, women would always end up directing the conversation to their bowel movements (actually the lack there of). It would drive me crazy! Contrary to this blog, I am actually a very private person. Being that I am a counselor, I am more than willing to talk about you all day. The moment the conversation is on me, I am out! I also tend to be a huge germaphobe. I do not particularly care to see, smell, hear, or taste a bodily function of any kind of anyone. You can imagine my disgust when they would bring up their bowel movements. I would always make fun of them and ask if they could refrain from talking about their bowels each time we got together.

Let me tell you – Karma is a biatch! It was not six weeks after this converstation with my "seasoned" friends the doctor had signed me up for a colonoscopy. I was devastated. Naturally, the ladies had a hay day with this.

After a few weeks of hearing the jokes, my day had come to prepare for the colonoscopy and drink the G.I. Hooch. It obviously is not really hooch, but I can not remember what the drink is called that they give you to clean out your system. I just figure G. I. Hooch is a rather fitting name being that it made everything come out of the bum the same way that regular Hooch makes everything come out of the stomach through projectile vomiting. It truly is some awful stuff! Anyone in your 20’s reading this, brace yourselves, it will be a miserable long night…as I am sure you have all experienced before – just a different type of miserable.

The next morning I woke up at the butt crack of dawn (sorry, I can’t help myself) with a colon and ass so clean you could have eaten off of it. That is neither a request or a challenge, and sorry for anyone that drew a mental picture.

So I was in the waiting room at the doctors office and I couldn't help but notice that everyone in there is about three times my age. I turned to my dad (he had been my ride) and suggested that everyone there probably thought I was actually his ride. There were a few shocked faces when the nurse called my name and I went through the door to The Land of The Ass Man (G.I. procedure room). This is where the whole situation starts to get a little hazy. I basically got hopped up (anesthesia), shit went down, and then I woke up hoping to never see any of those individuals again…..Basically, exactly like my college years.

After the colonoscopy they sent out a biopsy, which came back negative for cancer and a few other things. I can’t remember exactly what all it was sent out to test for. At that time they had diagnosed me with Diverticulosis. My non medical way of describing Diverticulosis, is this: Pockets begin to develop in the intestines, where food can get caught, which can result in infections in these pockets (Diverticulitis), and be very painful. To address this, they put me on a high fiber diet: red meat, nuts, oats, and wheat’s, all of the types of foods that are hard to digest but help push everything through the colon. This seemed pretty simple and easy to do. While I am not crazy about meat…let me be more specific…while I am not crazy about eating “animal meat”, I am a big fan of nuts, oats, and of course wheat.

Little did I know, this diet would be the trigger of many many many pregnancy tests…..

It All Started With A Rectal Exam...

Many people have asked me when I was diagnosed with POTS, started feeling sick, or realized something wasn't quite right with my health.  I don't know that there is a simple direct answer to that question, but I'm going to do my best to answer it throughout this blog entry...

So one September day, about 11 months ago, I was attempting to shovel down a sandwich in between groups sessions.  At the time I was a drug and alcohol counselor, and as anyone in that field of work knows, it is usually a hectic environment and you often eat in between appointments instead of breaks.  Anyway, halfway through my sandwich I realized it just kind of got stuck...literally....like a rock in my upper abdomen.  I thought this seemed really weird, but figured maybe it was because I ate too fast.  So I finished work and headed home.  About two days later I remember walking my dog late one night after I had gotten home from work, after we finished our walk and made it to the bottom of the stairs and I remember looking at the stair case thinking, "There is no possible way my body is going to make it up these stairs.  What the heck is going on?"  Well, I did make it up the stairs that night and into bed.  However, this feeling of exhaustion stuck with me the rest of the week.  It seemed like everyday I was able to do less and less.

...Don't worry, I'm getting to the good part...

That was the beginning of the week, by now it is Friday and I'm thinking I need to go to the doctor.  My skin was as white as a sheet, I was exhausted, I had headaches throughout the week, my stomach was still getting hard when I ate, and I was always cold.  So I ran to the doctor Friday morning before I commuted to work.  At that time I'm thinking it will be a throat swab to test for strep throat or finger prick to test for Mononucleosis, you know, the usual stuff we have all had done before.  Hah!!  Boy was I ever wrong!  Sure they checked that stuff out, but apparently there were some red flags in the family history that mixed with the stomach issues.  Next thing I know they told me to lay in the fetal position on my side.

Now ladies, you know how when you go in for your yearly pap smear and you have to mentally prepare yourself?  I mean, you know what is about to come and how the drill goes, but there is just something about having a non routine member in the area.  And men, I'm not sure how it goes for you, but I'm guessing when the doctor asks you to turn your head and cough, there's a little mental preparation that goes into it AT LEAST an hour or two before the appointment.

Well let me tell you - There was no opportunity for the mental preparation for the doctor to do the anal exam that I received that day in the doctor office.  Which by the way was completely normal...as I knew it would be since I kept insisting the problem was in my STOMACH.  I left the doctors office that day with several emotions...and as I write this...I'm still not sure what they are.  Aside from the emotions, I also left that day with an appointment scheduled for a Colonoscopy with a Gastroenterologist, suspected GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease) and recommended to take Prilosec, and a negative Mononucleosis test.

My shit starts where other peoples ends...



Blue Ribbon At The Fair???

I'm not sure if I mentioned this earlier, but there seems to be a serious lack of knowledge about POTS.  It's largely unknown to many people in the community, but also to many medical professionals.  How unknown, you ask?

Well, just a moment ago I decided I would Google Image 'POTS Awareness Blue Ribbon' so that I could put a picture of the blue ribbon on my page.  And this is one of the most simple tasks a person can complete.  You can Google Image anything and find just what you are looking for.  I would know, I'm a real sucker for this type of thing.  You wouldn't believe the types of emails my friends and coworkers have receive only to find disturbing half naked people or things.  For example: all I have to do is type 'Bunny Man' into the search engine and the picture below pops right up.  Super easy!

Anyways, back to my point...So when I type in 'POTS Awareness Blue Ribbon', one of the first pictures to pop up is this one...

Seriously???  A first prize, blue ribbon, PIG???  Nothing like a little self esteem booster with that one!  I mean sure the pigs eye lashes appear to be curled and he/she appears to have eye shadow on AND after all it did get first place...

I did find a blue ribbon, which is posted just below this comment.  The point is - There clearly needs to be a LOT more awareness raised about this disease.  If Google doesn't pull much up on the topic then there isn't enough information out there.  After all, Google has all the answers.  : )

What This Shenanigan Is All About...

Before I actually start blogging about the fun stuff, or medical mystery stories (I totally should have been on the show 'Mystery Diagnosis' by the way), I will briefly explain what POTS is.  POTS is an acronym for the disease Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome.  You might also hear this condition referred to as Autonomic Neuropathy with Orthostatic Hypotension or Dysautonomia.  The name they stamped me with is Autonomic Neuropathy with Orthostatic Intolerance and are calling it POTS for short.

Autonomic Neuropothay is a nerve disorder that affects the involuntary body functions such as blood pressure, heart rate, digestion, and perspiration (that's why I glisten instead of sweat buckets).  The Orthostatic Intolerance part means that if I stand up too fast or for too long, I am liable to pass out just after I start getting dizzy and my vision goes black.

Below are two videos that explain POTS (I will be calling it that in the rest of my entries) much better than I am able to.  I will warn you - The first video is about 35 minutes long, however, it is very educational for those that are seeking something like that.  The second video is only about 5 minutes long and more of a humorous cartoon.  Enjoy whichever floats your boat!

POTS Documentary

What The Hell Is POTS??