Living Life Fabulously With POTS...: February 2013

DISCLAIMER:

This blog does include some educational information about POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). However, it primarily consists of my thoughts, opinions, and personal experiences with this chronic disease. As someone who struggles with this disease daily, I am in no way attempting to minimize the seriousness of this chronic illness. With that being said, I would like to forewarn all readers that this blog does focus on the humorous stories that have occurred during all of the medical testing leading up to the diagnosis of POTS. I would also like to point out that I am in no way attempting to discredit any of the medical professionals I have worked with. They have all been wonderful and very helpful. I am simply pointing out just how difficult it is to diagnose POTS and the numerous ways it can be mis-diagnosed. If you do not find this site to be helpful, humorous, or hilarious, then please seek one of the other sites that is more fitting for you. I've personally never been a big fan of hate mail. Thanks and enjoy!

Friday, February 1, 2013

Lions, And Tigers, And Bears, Oh My...More Like - Monkeys, And Strippers, And Thongs...Oh My!

Prior to reading the next several blog entries - Please note that I am in no way discrediting any doctors or medical facilities. As I have said before, they were a tremendous amount of help and made the entire process as comfortable as it could be, given the circumstances. These blogs are about finding humor in my struggle with a chronic illness.

My parents had been suggesting I make an appointment with the Mayo Clinic for several weeks by this time. I kept telling them that I would make an appointment if the next test did not answer the problem. After my Internal Medicine doctor suggested it as well, I finally made the phone call to the Mayo Clinic. I honestly thought it would take a few months to get into the clinic and would have this figured out by then and not actually end up going. However, luckily for me, they had an opening in just under three weeks. I kept thinking of all of the ways I could back out of this appointment, but once my parents bought a one way ticket to Scottsdale, Arizona, for the three of us, I knew there was no getting out of it.

I was looking forward to the warm weather in Phoenix, because in Kansas at the beginning of April, it was still very cold. At the same time, I was terrified to go. I had no idea what to expect. I was also afraid of the two different outcomes of going: 1. I feared the doctors at the Mayo Clinic would also say it was all just depression (which I knew it was not) and my parents would have spent all of the money funding this trip for no reason; 2. They would discover what illness I had, and I was not too sure I wanted to know at that point what it was or how serious it could be.

Before I knew it, I was on a plane headed to Scottsdale for a little spring break vacation. Little did I know, this vacation was going to be much more eventful than any of my spring break trips in college. And by the end, MTV's Spring Break would not even compare to my trip.

I arrived for my Consultative Medicine Evaluation on a Wednesday April 11, 2012 at 9:20a.m. I had absolutely no idea what to expect, which I now know was for the best because looking back, the whole process seemed equivalent to being a monkey and having the other monkeys pick the bugs and shit off of you while you just sit there in shame.

I was in my first appointment, and the doctor walked out of the room so I could change into one of those hot fancy gowns that opens in the back to bare all. When I was changing, I suddenly realized, "Oh shit! I wore a thong! What was I thinking? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. This gown opens in the back and the female doctor is going to see my ace!" Ye-ah! That is how much I did not know what to expect during this whole experience...that was my biggest worry on the first day. Little did I know, the female doctor seeing me in a thong would be feel as conservative as wearing a turtle neck to the pool, compared to what would be coming during my two week stint there.

After having this bod looked over thoroughly and answering all of the doctors questions about my physical, social, mental, family history etc. - and all the other personal dirt you guys do not get to know about me in this blog, I had made it through the first appointment. BUT, I had four more that day.

The next one was a Laboratory visit. Apparently I was still a little nervous about the whole process... A gentleman called my name and I went back to the draw station so he could start digging for a vein. He noticed a small tattoo I have on my inner wrist and asked me what it said. My instant response, "It says 'Serenity' but no, that is not my stripper name." He looked at me funny and just started laughing. I then had to explain that when my cousin saw the tattoo he instantly asked if that was my stripper name, just to be a pain in the ass. We then spent the next 10 to 15 minutes discussing how much strippers in Alaska make during a fishing competition. Turns out they can make enough money in two months to support themselves for the rest of the year. I am guessing those are similar to the strippers in Las Vegas, though. They are basically gymnasts, or some may even say athletes.

Since I had over a dozen procedures performed in two weeks, I will be compiling them into a few blog entries that will cover my two week ordeal in Scottsdale, AZ in a timely fashion. One of them is so unbelievable, I am thinking I will actually be making a video blog instead. I just do not see it possible to put the procedure into written words.

BLOGGER ETIQUETTE

For those that are unfamiliar with the blogger world, and particularly with my blog, this is a blog! I am sharing my experiences to help educate others and find humor in a not so humorous situation. Just because I share my personal stories in a humorous way on this blog does not mean I ever, under any circumstances, for any reason, want to be approached in person to discuss majority of these stories any further. Please use your best judgement when approaching me in public to discuss these topics. Heads up - I will not hesitate to walk away and act like I don't know you. Thanks!

Helpful Hints to Looking Fabulous When You Don't Feel So Fabulous

BEACH GODDESS: One of the hardest things about having POTS and summertime is that you have to be out in the hot sun to get a hot tan. However, one of the red flags to stay away from with this condition is the heat. Now being that I am only 28, I still appreciate a good tan in the summer, just like most people do no matter what your age is. Plus, everybody knows that a tan bod hides all the nooks and crannies much better than a pale pasty bod every will. One way around this dilemma - SPRAY TANNING. If you go to a professional you aren't likely to have the orange finger lines down your legs and arms like you do if you use the lotion of the shelf at the grocery store. And you still get the that great tan goddess look without passing out in the heat.
DETANGLER SPRAY: Some days the body is so tired it can take an act of God just to brush your hair. It sounds crazy, but it can be incredibly hard to do when it requires lifting your arms above your head to brush your hair...who would have thought, right? Well, I was lucky enough to be born with quite the afro (even though I'm white). So brushing my hair when I felt normal was no easy task, let alone when I'm having one of my "episodes". I've found that using children's detangling spray works wonders for making this task a little more simple, especially on the worst of days.
LOTION UP YOUR FEET: Always put lotion on your feet at night. One of the worst things about POTS is the blood flow! It often pools up at the feet and they turn blue and purple, usually making them look dead. One thing I learned quickly is that if my feet were the least bit dry, it had a way of making them look 100 times worse. So each night before bed, I lather on the lotion and then put on a thick pair of socks on to help it soak in. This way, even if my feet turn purple, I'm not quite as self conscience about it. : )