Living Life Fabulously With POTS...: January 2013

DISCLAIMER:

This blog does include some educational information about POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome). However, it primarily consists of my thoughts, opinions, and personal experiences with this chronic disease. As someone who struggles with this disease daily, I am in no way attempting to minimize the seriousness of this chronic illness. With that being said, I would like to forewarn all readers that this blog does focus on the humorous stories that have occurred during all of the medical testing leading up to the diagnosis of POTS. I would also like to point out that I am in no way attempting to discredit any of the medical professionals I have worked with. They have all been wonderful and very helpful. I am simply pointing out just how difficult it is to diagnose POTS and the numerous ways it can be mis-diagnosed. If you do not find this site to be helpful, humorous, or hilarious, then please seek one of the other sites that is more fitting for you. I've personally never been a big fan of hate mail. Thanks and enjoy!

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Personalized Yearly Christmas Bragging Card...Tis The Season

So every year, I plan to send Christmas cards to family, friends, acquaintances, and those people I do not really care for, but feel obligated to send a card to. I have bought cards every year for the last several years, but never actually opened the box and filled any of them out. I knew this year would be the year I would get it done AND even make it a little more personal. You know the Christmas letters families send talking about all of the fabulous accomplishments their children have had over the past year, in hopes of outdoing all of their family and friends? Well, I decided I would just make one of those personalized letters of my own to send this year.

However, I didn't manage to get it done in time, so I figured I would make sure and get it sent out in time for New Years. Well, as you read this, I am sure you realize it is now January 9, 2013. However, that just proves the year 2012 was so badass (sure, pun intended) that it took 9 extra days to get it all on one page.

Since I have never written a personalized Christmas letter, I did a little research on how these things go. And by 'research' - I mean that I Googled the shit out of it. Basically, the only helpful thing I found were some rules to follow: Be Creative; Make It Colorful; Be Yourself. Those rules just opened up so many orifices.

Happy Holidays! Seasons Greetings! Merry Christmas from Rebecca, Kip (the pussy), and Dolly (the bitch) Cornett! It has been a very busy year for all of us with many events and unforeseen lifestyle changes. So busy in fact, it seems as though most of the past year has just been one scheduled even after another.

The last several years of dedicating my life to my career, finally paid off, I was able to go into early retirement. I thought this meant my life would become more relaxing, but much to my surprise, the calendar in my iPhone just blew up with fun scheduled activities. Most of these "scheduled activities" were with doctors, some quite nice on the eyes and some just total pervs. Mom and Dad sure seemed proud that I had upped my standards, that's for sure.

My first rendezvous was to Scottsdale, Arizona. I had always heard it was quite a lovely place and decided to buy a one way ticket there for vacation. Let me tell you, that was quite the vacation full of shenanigans. I participated in activities that made a colonoscopy seem as normal as brushing your teeth. But, hey, my birthday fell in that couple of weeks, so it was totally deserved.

Eventually, I got very tired, as anyone would, and bought a plane ticket back home to northeast Kansas. It was at that time I decided to move home closer to my family since I was able to retire early and all. I packed my belongings, grabbed Kip, my pussy (cat), and Dolly, my bitch (dog), and we headed out for southwest Kansas.

We settled in a pretty sweet pad on the golf course where we spent the remainder of the summer and early fall watching the golfers search for their balls. Their balls were usually hanging a little ways back in the prickly rough...kind of like mens cojones. So the three of us were pretty much just living the life and kicking it. The parentals came out to visit a few times and really enjoyed the peacefulness as well. Then...I will be damned...one day their bed had been moved into my sweet pad. It was not long until I had to set down some ground rules for this little roommate situation.

Since moving to southwest Kansas, I have also been volunteering. When I am able to, I help resuce animals through the humane society. Basically, that means that I attempt to emotionally blackmail and manipulate my friends into adopting dogs and/or cats prior to them being euthanized. So far, I have found one sucker. However, I do also help foster these animals until they are able to go to resuces. Another volunteer experience I have had a great opportunity to have is working with a few individuals in the slammer. Not only was I able to hangout with the people in the slammer, I was able to go through the entire process of being handcuffed, frisked, finger printed, mug shot, etc. The handcuffing and frisking wasn't quite like one would hope. Totally not all it is cracked up to be.

What can I say, I am a giver, all around.

BLOGGER ETIQUETTE

For those that are unfamiliar with the blogger world, and particularly with my blog, this is a blog! I am sharing my experiences to help educate others and find humor in a not so humorous situation. Just because I share my personal stories in a humorous way on this blog does not mean I ever, under any circumstances, for any reason, want to be approached in person to discuss majority of these stories any further. Please use your best judgement when approaching me in public to discuss these topics. Heads up - I will not hesitate to walk away and act like I don't know you. Thanks!

Helpful Hints to Looking Fabulous When You Don't Feel So Fabulous

BEACH GODDESS: One of the hardest things about having POTS and summertime is that you have to be out in the hot sun to get a hot tan. However, one of the red flags to stay away from with this condition is the heat. Now being that I am only 28, I still appreciate a good tan in the summer, just like most people do no matter what your age is. Plus, everybody knows that a tan bod hides all the nooks and crannies much better than a pale pasty bod every will. One way around this dilemma - SPRAY TANNING. If you go to a professional you aren't likely to have the orange finger lines down your legs and arms like you do if you use the lotion of the shelf at the grocery store. And you still get the that great tan goddess look without passing out in the heat.
DETANGLER SPRAY: Some days the body is so tired it can take an act of God just to brush your hair. It sounds crazy, but it can be incredibly hard to do when it requires lifting your arms above your head to brush your hair...who would have thought, right? Well, I was lucky enough to be born with quite the afro (even though I'm white). So brushing my hair when I felt normal was no easy task, let alone when I'm having one of my "episodes". I've found that using children's detangling spray works wonders for making this task a little more simple, especially on the worst of days.
LOTION UP YOUR FEET: Always put lotion on your feet at night. One of the worst things about POTS is the blood flow! It often pools up at the feet and they turn blue and purple, usually making them look dead. One thing I learned quickly is that if my feet were the least bit dry, it had a way of making them look 100 times worse. So each night before bed, I lather on the lotion and then put on a thick pair of socks on to help it soak in. This way, even if my feet turn purple, I'm not quite as self conscience about it. : )